Tag: mental health

You Know What You Did by K.T. Nguyen

Publisher: Penguin Group Dutton, Dutton

Date of publication: April 16th, 2024

Genre: Thriller, Mystery, Mystery Thriller, Fiction, Horror, Adult, Suspense, Contemporary, Mental Health, Murder Mystery

Purchase Links: Kindle | Audible | B&N | AbeBooks | WorldCat

Goodreads Synopsis:

In this heart-pounding debut thriller for fans of Lisa Jewell and Celeste Ng, a first-generation Vietnamese American artist must confront nightmares past and present…

Annie “Anh Le” Shaw grew up poor but seems to have it all now: a dream career, a stunning home, and a devoted husband and daughter. When Annie’s mother, a Vietnam War refugee, dies suddenly one night, Annie’s carefully curated life begins to unravel. Her obsessive-compulsive disorder, which she thought she’d vanquished years ago, comes roaring back—but this time, the disturbing fixations swirling around in Annie’s brain might actually be coming true.

A prominent art patron disappears, and the investigation zeroes in on Annie. Spiraling with self-doubt, she distances herself from her family and friends, only to wake up in a hotel room—naked, next to a lifeless body. The police have more questions, but with her mind increasingly fractured, Annie doesn’t have answers. All she knows is this: She will do anything to protect her daughter—even if it means losing herself.

With dizzying twists, You Know What You Did is both a harrowing thriller and a heartfelt exploration of the refugee experience, the legacies we leave for our children, and the unbreakable bonds between mothers and daughters.

AUTHOR NOTE
Personality-wise, I’m not much like my main character Annie Shaw. However, we do have one big thing in common: we’re both recovering from obsessive compulsive disorder. Through Annie, I describe some of my lived experience with disgust-driven, contamination-based OCD. The imagery is raw and vivid—and very necessary to realistically portray how this chronic disorder can affect people’s everyday lives, how it can make you feel like a prisoner in your own body. To learn more about OCD symptoms, treatments, and resources, visit the website of the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF dot org). —K.T. Nguyen

First Line

Annie Shaw held her mother’s hand one last time.

Important details about You Know What You Did

Pace: Alternated between medium and fast

POV: 3rd person (Annie)

Content/Triggers: You Know What You Did contains themes of mental illness, animal death, death of a parent, infidelity, body horror, gore, grief, violence, car accident, murder, death, emotional abuse, racism, fire and fire injury, gaslighting, injury and injury detail, animal cruelty, body shaming, domestic abuse, panic attacks/disorders, physical abuse, self-harm, sexual assault, toxic relationship, police brutality, stalking, abandonment, alcohol, war, classism, death of a child, rape, refugee experiences, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, gun violence, attempted murder, and *genocide. Please read carefully if any of these triggers you.

  • Annie’s mother escaped Vietnam by boat in 1978. She was pregnant with Annie and had escaped with her six-year-old son, who tragically died the day before she was rescued. There are references to the Vietnamese Boat People throughout the book.

Language: You Know What You Did contains graphic swearing and language that might offend some people.

Sexual Content: There is mild consensual sexual content in You Know What You Did. There is also a somewhat graphic sexual assault scene during the last couple of chapters.

Setting: You Know What You Did is set in Mount Pleasant, Virginia. There are also chapters set in Grace Falls, Ohio (while Annie was growing up), Hong Kong (in the early 2000s), and Vietnam (in 1978).

My Review:

The main storyline of You Know What You Did centers around Annie. Annie’s mother, a compulsive hoarder, was found dead by Annie. That death pushes Annie’s mental health to the limit. Annie suffers from contamination-based OCD, and she finds herself spiraling into routines that she hasn’t done in years. With her employer’s disappearance and the death of a man she barely knows pinned on her, Annie finds herself losing grip on reality. What is going on? Did the death of Annie’s mother set her off, or is there a more sinister reason? Can Annie figure out what is going on?

Annie had a time for it in the first half of the book. Her mother dies, and then she catches her best friend’s husband getting pleasured at the school carnival; the husband then starts sending threatening texts/pics to Annie. Tabby (her daughter) is awful and leaves for horse camp; her employer disappears, her dog dies, and Duncan leaves to cover a story in Syria. Her stress level was sky-high, and the pressure just kept mounting. I got stressed just reading about her predicaments.

Speaking of her relationships, I wasn’t a huge fan of Duncan or Tabby. Duncan came across as condescending or a jerk while he was with her. I could picture the tone he used with her; that imaginary tone made me grumpy (I don’t like condescending people). He also seemed to be undermining her parenting of Tabby. Everything she said or did that concerned Tabby was immediately challenged or changed by Duncan. As for Tabby, I understood she was a teenager and had that attitude, but she still aggravated me.

Annie’s relationship with her mother was also a massive part of the storyline. But, there was also a disconnect for me. I wanted to see more of her and Annie’s interactions when Annie was growing up. I wanted to know what caused such a massive rift between them. I also wanted to know more about her time in Vietnam. The author did go back to 1978 and explain a few things-like hoarding.

I liked Annie, but she was a very unreliable narrator. There were times during the book when I couldn’t figure out if what Annie was saying happened. She had vivid dreams about people that seemed to come true (which was freaky). Even her mother’s death was suspect in my eyes. Even after an explanation was given (and this goes with the twist I mention below), I still couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe she wasn’t all innocent.

The mystery angle of the book was terrific. I thought I had everything figured out, and then, bam, the author throws in a huge twist. This twist I did not see coming. All I could think was that that person had done an insane amount of planning to accomplish what they did.

I also like the book’s horror element. While it wasn’t subtle, it wasn’t in your face. Reading about Annie’s spiral into her OCD routines was both heartbreaking and frightening. But watching Annie’s mind become more and more fractured was truly horrifying. Lost hours and memories, on top of her OCD routines, set the tone for the last half of the book.

The end of You Know What You Did was terrific. I liked how the author revealed what was happening and who was behind it. As I said above, I was beyond shocked by who it was. The epilogue wrapped up the other storylines one year later, but I still couldn’t figure out what happened during the final fight in the carriage house. It was alluded to, but since Annie was so sick (mentally), I couldn’t tell if it was real. And folks, that is what made this book so good to read!

Many thanks to Penguin Group Dutton, Dutton, NetGalley, and K.T. Nguyen for allowing me to read and review this ARC of You Know What You Did. All opinions stated in this review are mine.

If you enjoy reading books similar to You Know What You Did, then you will enjoy these books:

The Phoenix Bride by Natasha Siegel

Publisher: Random House Publishing Group – Ballantine, Dell

Date of publication: March 12th, 2024

Genre: Historical Fiction, Romance, Historical, Adult, Fiction, Historical Romance, Mental Health, Jewish, LGBTQ+

Purchase Links: Kindle | Audible | B&N | AbeBooks | WorldCat

Goodreads Synopsis:

A passionate tale of plague, fire, and forbidden love in seventeenth-century London from the acclaimed author of Solomon’s Crown

1666. It is a year after plague has devastated England. Young widow Cecilia Thorowgood is a prisoner, trapped and isolated within the cavernous London townhouse of her older sister. At the mercy of a legion of doctors who fail to cure her grief with their impatient scalpels, Cecilia shows no signs of improvement. Soon, her sister makes a decision borne of she hires a new physician, someone known for more unusual methods. But he is a foreigner. A Jew. And despite his attempts to save Cecilia, he knows he cannot quell the storm of grief that rages within her. There is no easy cure for melancholy.

David Mendes fled Portugal to seek a new life in London, where he could practice his faith openly and leave the past behind. Still reeling from the loss of his beloved friend, struggling with his religion and his past, David finds himself in this foreign land, free and safe, but incapable of happiness—caring not even for himself, but only for his ailing father. The security he has found in London threatens to disappear when he meets Cecilia, and he finds himself torn between his duty to medicine and the beating of his own heart. He is the only one who can see her pain; the glimmers of light she emits, even in her gloom, are enough to make him believe once more in love.

Facing seemingly insurmountable challenges, David and Cecilia must endure prejudice, heartbreak, and calamity before they can be together. A Great Fire is coming—and with the city in flames around them, love has never felt so impossible.

First Line

Three springs had passed since the king’s return to England, when I married William Thorowgood.

The Phoenix Bride by Natasha Siegel

Important details about The Phoenix Bride

Pace: Medium

POV: 1st person (Cecilia and David)

Trigger Warnings: The Phoenix Bride contains themes that include antisemitism, fire and fire injury, confinement, death, medical content, grief, religious bigotry, death of a parent, alcohol, pandemic/epidemic, homophobia, vomit, classism, pregnancy, religious persecution, arranged marriage, forced marriage, depression, eating disorders, sleep disorders, attempted suicide, suicidal ideation, infertility, blood, dead bodies, and the death of a spouse.

Language: The Phoenix Bride contains no swearing or language that might offend some people.

Sexual Content: There is mild (non-graphic) sexual content in The Phoenix Bride.

Setting: The Phoenix Bride is set in 17th-century London, England.

My Review

I have always loved England. I will try to read anything I can about England when given the opportunity. I do read books from the Victorian or Regency era, but I will read earlier if I find a book I like. The Phoenix Bride definitely fit what I liked, and seeing that it takes place before, during, and after The Great Fire (an event that I have read almost next to nothing about), my interest was caught.

The Phoenix Bride’s storyline centers on Cecilia and David, their backstories, their romance, and The Great Fire (and its aftermath). I found this a well-written, eye-opening book about life in 1666. I did have questions about the end of the book. It was vague, and I couldn’t tell if there was an HEA. But, considering how prejudiced people were, I went for not being an HEA—just an HEA for that moment.

Cecilia was a hot mess when the book started. Her mental health issues were addressed immediately, and you couldn’t help but pity her. She went into a deep depression when her husband died. But, the book didn’t dwell on Cecilia’s mental health for long. Instead, it steamed forward with her falling in love with David and her engagement to Sir Grey. In a world where women were considered property and often were regulated to the background, Cecilia refused to do so. When she wanted something (in this case, it was David), she went after it, no matter the consequences.

I liked David, and he was another one that I felt terrible about. He dealt with antisemitism daily (which would depress me). He also lost the man he loved to the plague and couldn’t talk to anyone about it (remember, being homosexual back in the 17th century could end up with jail time). He had taken over his ailing father’s practice and was busy with patients. I was surprised he agreed to go to Cecilia’s sister’s house. I was also surprised by his reaction to Cecilia. But, mostly, I was saddened by his grief and stress.

I was very interested in the medical aspect of The Phoenix Bride. I knew the basics of how doctors dealt with the plague back then (plague doctor masks filled with scented flowers), but I never knew what a doctor did on a day-to-day basis (besides bloodletting and leeches). Reading about the different herbs and flowers used to help with different afflictions was interesting. I wish the author had spent more time on that in the book.

Also, what was interesting to me in the book was how doctors treat mental illness and neurodivergent people. Bloodletting was very popular. Cecilia was also confined to a courtyard and her room, was not allowed to exercise, and didn’t visit anyone. It was a little disturbing how she was viewed and treated. Sir Grey was treated similarly (I think he had ADHD or maybe autism, but I am not sure).

I was also interested in how the homosexual community was treated back then. It seemed to me (even though it was technically illegal..the sodomy laws were enacted in 1533) that most people were accepting of the molly houses, and the police did periodic sweeps to appease the government. It seemed like people were accepting in the book. But, even with that, David and Jan (and maybe Sir Grey) had to keep their sexuality very quiet or risk being put in jail or to death.

The Great Fire of London was also incorporated into the plotline during the last half of the book. Only a few details about how it started were given, but there was speculation. I was surprised by how the upper class reacted to the fire. They were on barges watching London burn and people trying to escape. It seemed weird, but I could see why people did it. The author also detailed the aftermath of the fire from David’s POV. He escaped with his life but lost everything.

The romance between Cecilia and David did seem a little forced in spots. I know I am cynical, but I don’t believe in falling in love in only a week (or, in this case, a couple of days). But, even with it feeling forced, I did like their chemistry and how they interacted.

The end of The Phoenix Bride was good, but it was a little vague. I liked that Cecilia and David finally got back together (after being apart for a year). But I read that last chapter, and I couldn’t figure out if they were together with Sir Grey’s blessing or going behind his back. That’s why I mentioned it might be a HEA for now instead of forever.

Many thanks to Random House Publishing Group – Ballantine, Dell, NetGalley, and Natasha Siegel for allowing me to read and review this ARC of The Phoenix Bride. All opinions stated in this review are mine.

If you enjoy reading books similar to The Phoenix Bride, then you will enjoy these books:

Other books by Natasha Siegel

Northwoods by Amy Pease

Publisher: Atria Books, Atria/Emily Bestler Books

Date of publication: January 9th, 2024

Genre: Mystery, Thriller, Mystery Thriller, Fiction, Crime, Family,. Suspense, Adult Fiction, Mental Health, Adult

Purchase Links: Kindle | Audible | B&N | Kobo | WorldCat

Goodreads Synopsis:

The dark underbelly of an idyllic Midwestern resort town is revealed in the aftermath of a murder with ties to America’s opioid epidemic in this unputdownable and thrilling debut. William Kent Krueger, and Mindy Mejia.

Eli North is not okay.

His drinking is getting worse by the day, his emotional wounds after a deployment to Afghanistan are as raw as ever, his marriage and career are over, and the only job he can hold down is with the local sheriff’s department. And that’s only because the sheriff is his mother—and she’s overwhelmed with small town Shaky Lake’s dwindling budget and the fallout from the opioid epidemic. The Northwoods of Wisconsin may be a vacationer’s paradise, but amidst the fishing trips and campfires and Paul Bunyan festivals, something sinister is taking shape.

When the body of a teenage boy is found in the lake, it sets in motion an investigation that leads Eli to a wealthy enclave with a violent past, a pharmaceutical salesman, and a missing teenage girl. Soon, Eli and his mother, along with a young FBI agent, are on the hunt for more than just a killer.

If Eli solves the case, could he finally get the shot at redemption he so desperately needs? Or will answers to this dark case elude him and continue to bring destruction to the Northwoods?

First Line:

Eli North stripped off his clothes and waded into the water.

Northwoods by Amy Pease

Important things you need to know about the book:

Pace: Northwoods‘ pace is medium.

POV: Northwoods is told mainly from Eli’s 3rd person POV. But, there are also 3rd person POVs from Marge, Alyssa, and Cal. There is one heartbreaking scene from Ben and Caitlin’s POV (the day of Ben’s murder).

Trigger/Content Warning: Northwoods have trigger and content warnings. If any of these triggers you, I suggest not reading the book. They are:

  • Gun Violence
  • Alcoholism
  • War
  • Addiction
  • Drug Abuse
  • Mental Illness
  • Panic attacks/Disorders
  • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
  • Suicidal Thoughts
  • Blood
  • Kidnapping
  • Grief
  • Death of a parent
  • Murder
  • Alcohol
  • Injury/Injury Detail
  • Classism
  • Domestic Abuse (not on page but mentioned to Eli by his mother)
  • Death
  • Drug Use
  • Toxic Relationship
  • Medical Content
  • Medical Trauma
  • Suicide Attempt
  • Amnesia & Memory Disorders (Eli cannot remember what happened after he entered the hallway of a house he entered in Afghanistan)
  • Depression
  • Hospitalization
  • Car Accident
  • Knife Violence

Sexual Content: There is no sexual content in Northwoods.

Language: There is moderate to explicit swearing in Northwoods. The language used could also be considered offensive to readers who are triggered easily.

Setting: Northwoods is set in Shaky Lake, Wisconsin.

Age Range: I recommend Northwoods to anyone over 21.

Plot Synopsis (as spoiler-free as I can get):

Eli North is battling his demons. His drinking is out of control, and his marriage is over. The only job he can hold down is a deputy under his mother, the sheriff of Shaky Lake. And even then, he is skating on thin ice because of his drinking. So, he thinks it is no big deal when he responds late to a noise complaint at a local campground. Instead of finding tourists partying, Eli finds the dead body of a teenage boy. The resulting investigation leads to a missing teenager, the boy’s girlfriend. The resulting investigation takes Eli from the mansions that line Shaky Lake to the people with an addiction who buy opioids to a pharmaceutical salesperson who is going to blow the whistle on a miracle drug that is killing people. While Eli follows the clues, his life is imploding. Can he hold it together long enough to solve the case? Or will Eli succumb to his demons?

Main Characters:

Eli North is the main character in Northwoods. His well-written, well-researched character made my heart bleed for him. What I liked the most about him was that he was very self-aware of his faults. There were times when I didn’t think he would be able to finish the case and one time when I thought he was going to end his life. If I had to label him, I would say that he was more of a morally gray character and only because he was so tortured by what happened overseas.

There were a lot of secondary characters, and they each added depth to the storyline (and to what Eli was going through).

My review:

Northwoods is Amy Pease’s first book; I can’t wait to read more from her. Northwoods is well-written and well-researched. I was captivated right from the beginning (when Eli was swimming) to the end, which offered so much hope for Eli. I will be on the lookout for more books by this author.

The main storyline centers around Eli. It follows him during the investigation into Ben’s murder. But it also shows a very realistic look into what it is like living with PTSD. To say Eli wasn’t coping well was an understatement. He turned to alcohol to numb himself and to deal with the severe panic attacks that he got (which could be triggered by anything). Everyone knew something was up, but no one wanted to say anything, including his mother. But he did manage to investigate Ben’s murder (and Caitlin’s kidnapping) while battling those demons.

There were a few secondary storylines (centered on Ben’s mother, her drug use, Caitlin’s father, and his work). I was curious how the author was going to tie everything in with Ben’s murder and Caitlin’s disappearance. Well, I wasn’t surprised with how everything was connected. It made sense in a weird, roundabout way. It also paved the way for the end of the book.

The mystery and thriller angles were both well-written. I was kept in suspense over what would happen next during the investigation. I was also shocked at not only who the murderer/kidnapper was but why that person did what they did.

The end of Northwoods was a little bittersweet. I can’t get much into it, but it was good. There was a twist with who the kidnapper/murderer was, and it took me by surprise. I found it interesting that the author didn’t end some of the storylines. Instead, the people behind the killers were still out there. I wondered if there was going to be another book.

Many thanks to Atria Books, Atria/Emily Bestler Books, NetGalley, and Amy Pease for allowing me to read and review this ARC of Northwoods. All opinions stated in this review are mine.

If you enjoy reading books similar to Northwoods, then you will enjoy these books:

The Madwomen of Paris by Jennifer Cody Epstein

Publisher: Random House Publishing Group – Ballantine, Ballantine Books

Date of publication: July 11th, 2023

Genre: Historical Fiction, Fiction, Historical, Mental Health, France, Mental Illness

Purchase Links: Kindle | Audible | B&N | AbeBooks | WorldCat

Goodreads Synopsis:

A young woman with amnesia falls under the influence of a powerful doctor in Paris’s notorious women’s asylum, where she must fight to reclaim dangerous memories—and even more perilously, her sanity—in this gripping historical novel inspired by true events, from the bestselling author of Wunderland.

“I didn’t see her the day she came to the asylum. Looking back, this sometimes strikes me as unlikely. Impossible, even, given how utterly her arrival would upend the already chaotic order of things at the Salpêtrière—not to mention change the course of my own life there.”

When Josephine arrives at the Salpêtrière she is covered in blood and badly bruised. Suffering from near-complete amnesia, she is diagnosed with what the Paris papers are calling “the epidemic of the age”: hysteria. It is a disease so baffling and widespread that Doctor Jean-Martine Charcot, the asylum’s famous director, devotes many of his popular public lectures to the malady. To Charcot’s delight, Josephine also proves extraordinarily susceptible to hypnosis, the tool he uses to unlock hysteria’s myriad (and often sensational) symptoms. Soon Charcot is regularly featuring Josephine on his stage, entrancing the young woman into fantastical acts and hallucinatory fits before enraptured audiences and eager newsmen—many of whom feature her on their paper’s front pages.

For Laure, a lonely asylum attendant assigned to Josephine’s care, Charcot’s diagnosis seems a godsend. A former hysteric herself, she knows better than most that life in the Salpêtrière’s Hysteria Ward is far easier than in its dreaded Lunacy division, from which few inmates ever return. But as Josephine’s fame as Charcot’s “star hysteric” grows, her memory starts to return—and with it, images of a horrific crime she believes she’s committed. Haunted by these visions, and helplessly trapped in Charcot’s hypnotic web, she starts spiraling into actual insanity. Desperate to save the girl she has grown to love, Laure plots their escape from the Salpêtrière and its doctors. First, though, she must confirm whether Joséphine is actually a madwoman, soon to be consigned to the Salpêtrière’s brutal Lunacy Ward—or a murderer, destined for the guillotine.

Both are dark possibilities—but not nearly as dark as what Laure will unearth when she sets out to discover the truth.

First Line:

I didn’t see her the day she came to the asylum. Looking back, this sometimes strikes me as unlikely.

The Madwomen of Paris by Jennifer Cody Epstein

As a former hysteria patient, nineteen-year-old Laure has been kept on at the famous Salpetrier hospital as an attendant in the Hysteria ward. Her life is lonely, and the work is endless, as she is the attendant to Rosalie, who Dr. Jean-Marie Charcot displays to explain what hysteria means. But that changes when Josephine arrives at the hospital. Covered in bruises and blood, Josephine is sure she committed a murder, but she can’t remember if she did. With rare beauty and highly susceptible to hypnosis, Josephine soon becomes Dr. Charcot’s star hysteric. But, with her memory returning and becoming more confident that she committed murder, Josephine and Laure start planning their escape. But Laure must find out if what Josephine did is the truth, and she must find a way to keep Josephine from going to the Lunacy ward. Will they escape? Did Josephine kill her former master?

When I was looking through the books on NetGalley, I came across this one. I was immediately drawn to the cover. Then I read the blurb and thought, “I must read this.” Since it was unavailable to request, I decided to wish on it. When I got the email saying that the publisher granted my wish, I was thrilled. Now that I have read it, I can tell everyone that this book was fantastic.

The Madwomen of Paris is a medium-paced book set in 19th-century Paris. The author took her time introducing Laure and explaining her background. She also took her time introducing Salpêtrière and explaining what hysteria was. Then she took time building up Josephine’s backstory. By the middle of the book, she amped up the slowness to a medium pace and kept it that pace until the end. There were some parts where I got frustrated with the pacing (mainly in the beginning), but by the end of the book, my irritation was gone. I understood why the author chose to pace the book as she did.

The main storyline concerns Laure, Josephine, Josephine’s amnesia, and their plans to escape. The storyline was well-written, and I got lost in the book as I was reading it. I loved that the author used real places (the Salpêtrière is a real hospital) and real people (Dr. Charcot was famous in 19th-century Paris). Those details added extra depth to the storyline. I also liked how the author explained hysteria and the different (and awful) ways of treating it.

I liked and pitied Laure. She suffered when she was younger, and I didn’t blame her for losing it. Losing two parents and an unborn sibling back to back would test even the strongest person. In a way, she did luck out when she was sent to Salpêtrière and again when she was hired to be an attendant. But she was lonely, so she got so caught up with Josephine.

I liked Josephine, but at the same time, I was wary of her. I didn’t doubt that her employer viciously attacked her, but I wondered if she had regained her memory of that night sooner than she had told Laure. At various points in the book, I wondered if she was using Laure. She sent Laure to check out the house where she killed her master. Her actions at the end of the book spoke volumes and just cemented my wariness of her.

There is a romance angle in the book that was interesting, and I liked it. But, I felt that it was one-sided, and Josephine used Laure’s feelings to further her ambitions.

An author’s note at the end of the book explains hysteria, how it encompassed many things that ail women (mentally ill—you’re hysterical, like sex—you’re hysterical, like the ladies—you’re hysterical). It was revolting to see how women were treated back then, and the author showed that repeatedly.

The end of The Madwomen of Paris was interesting, and I liked the author’s twist. It was something that I didn’t see coming. I did see what happened between Josephine and Laure coming, though, and it got me a little mad. I did like that Laure got her happy ending.

I would recommend The Madwomen of Paris to anyone over 16. There is violence, mild language, and sexual situations. I will warn that there are graphic scenes of a rape being reenacted through hypnosis, as well as Dr. Charcot showing what a body can do under hypnosis.

Many thanks to Random House Publishing Group – Ballantine, Ballantine Books, NetGalley, and Jennifer Cody Epstein for allowing me to read and review The Madwomen of Paris. All opinions stated in this review are mine.

If you enjoyed this review of The Madwomen of Paris, then you will enjoy these books:

Other books by Jennifer Cody Epstein

Kill Your Darlings by L.E. Harper

Publisher: Shivnath Productions, IBPA, Member’s Titles

Date of publication: May 24th, 2023

Genre: Fantasy, Mental Health, LGBTQ+

Trigger Warnings: Mental Illness (anxiety, depression), Suicidal Ideation, Self Harm

Purchase Links: Kindle | B&N | AbeBooks

Goodreads Synopsis:

“INKHEART meets INCEPTION in this allegorical masterpiece.”

Fantasy author Kyla knows dreams don’t come true. Isolated and grappling with debilitating depression, she copes by writing about the realm of Solera. Fearless heroes, feisty shapeshifters, and mighty dragons come alive on her pages. She adores her characters, but she doesn’t believe in happy endings. And if she can’t have one, why should they?

Kyla’s on the verge of giving up on everything when she wakes one morning, magically trapped in her fictional world. Now she’s with her most cherished characters: the friends she’s always yearned for, the family she’s never known. There’s even someone who might be Prince Charming (if Kyla could get her act together and manage some honest communication). She’d surrender to the halcyon fantasy, except she knows a nightmarish ending awaits. Solera is at war, and its defenders are losing against the insidious villain spawned in the depths of Kyla’s mind. He feeds on the energy of dreams, seeks the destruction of all who oppose him—and Kyla’s become his number one target.

Kyla must trade her pen for a sword and fight to change her story’s ending, but this isn’t a fantasy anymore. No happily-ever-after is guaranteed. And mental illness has robbed her of everything she needs to succeed: love, fighting spirit, hope. If Kyla can’t overcome the darkness inside her, she’ll die with her darlings.

CONTENT WARNINGS:
Depictions of mental illness including depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and self-harm.

First Line:

Oblivion is a funny thing. It’s human instinct to fear the proverbial abyss, but now that I’m here, it’s not so bad.

Kill Your Darlings by L.E. Harper

Kyla, a fantasy author, loves her characters, her darlings and loves creating the world that they live in. But, to shock her readers, Kyla decides to kill all her characters except for her namesake. But that decision to kill her darlings off is made while Kyla is in the midst of a horrible depression. On the verge of giving up, Kyla goes to sleep one night and wakes up in her make-believe world. Knowing what she has written and realizing what she has left behind in the real world, Kyla is desperate to save her new friends and return to the ones she left behind. But with a villain who spawned from her mind tracking her, Kyla needs to make a plan fast. Because things aren’t what they seem, Kyla must return to the real world before something horrible happens.

I will start with trigger warnings before diving into the review. It is essential to read these. Even I got triggered by what the author wrote, which doesn’t happen often. The triggers are:

  1. Mental Illness: Kyla suffers from severe depression and anxiety. Both have colored her life in ways that she never expected. Her depression and anxiety are carried over into Solrea, and Kyla uses that time to understand why she suffers. Her aha moment was pretty sad, and honestly, it got me so upset for her.
  2. Suicidal Ideation: During the book, Kyla often wonders if the world would be better off without her. Again, her time in Solrea shows her how valuable and wanted she is.
  3. Suicide: I can’t get into this, but yes, there is a suicide attempt, and it is rather graphic.
  4. Self-harm: Kyla uses self-harm to soothe her anxiety.

If any of these trigger you, I recommend not reading this book. If you are struggling with your mental health, please dial 988 and connect with someone who can help. You are worth it, and you matter.

The author included a forward where she explained that this book was semi-autobiographical. After reading this book, my heart went out to her. If she was like Kyla, then she was in a bad place.

Kill Your Darlings is a fast-paced book mainly set in the fictional world of Solrea with brief (very brief) glimpses into Kyla’s life in New York City. The book did drag a bit in the middle (and I got very frustrated with Kyla at one point), but the author got the book back on track.

Kill Your Darlings main storyline centered around Kyla. For a reason explained later in the book, Kyla has swapped places with her fictional namesake. She wakes up in Solrea. Convinced she is lucid dreaming (having trained herself to lucid dream), Kyla realizes she is in her book with no way out. After a wise dragon explains that something is happening with Kyla’s body in the real world, she starts on a quest to figure out how to get back to it. I liked that the author had Kyla come to terms with some things that were causing her to have suicidal thoughts. I also liked that Kyla was committed to getting the fictional Kyla back where she belongs and not in Kyla’s body in the real world. But an undercurrent of something with this storyline made me slow down and read. And once I figured out what was going on with Kyla (because she was having effects), I was rooting for her to get back quickly.

As a character, Kyla was very complex and was often hard to like. That was fine with me. I liked having a character that made me love and dislike them simultaneously. I did think that her behavior, once she started to get to know fictional Kyla’s friends, began to change. She became more open and more friendly to these characters. She confided things in them that she had never told another person. Some of those confidences were gut-wrenching. By the end of the book, Kyla grew into herself (for lack of a better word). I wish I could tell you what happened with her, but it is a huge spoiler.

The secondary characters made this book. They added extra nuances and depth to the storyline.

I loved the fantasy angle of Kill Your Darlings. It was well written, with unique characters that came off the page.

There was a romance angle in Kill Your Darlings. While I expected it, I wasn’t expecting Kyla’s reaction or what she told her wanna-be lover. That threw me for a loop. But, at the same time, it was also an aha moment for me.

The end of Kill Your Darlings was interesting. Again, I can’t get into it except that Kyla did what she had to and defeated the villain.

I recommend Kill Your Darlings to anyone over 21. There are no sexual situations. There is graphic violence and no language. Also, see my trigger warnings.

Many thanks to Shivnath Productions, IBPA, Member’s Titles, and L.E. Harper for allowing me to read and review Kill Your Darlings. All opinions stated in this review are mine.

If you enjoyed reading this review of Kill Your Darlings, then you will enjoy reading these books:

Pieces of Me by Kate McLaughlin

Publisher: St. Martin’s Press, Wednesday Books

Date of publication: April 18th, 2023

Trigger Warnings: Attempted Suicide, Child Abuse, Sexual Assualt, Alchohol Abuse, Mental Illness

Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Mental Health, Fiction, Realistic Fiction, Mystery, Young Adult Contemporary, Thriller, Mystery Thriller

Purchase Links: Kindle | B&N | WorldCat

Goodreads Synopsis:

he next gut-punching, compulsively readable Kate McLaughlin novel, about a girl finding strength in not being alone.

When eighteen-year-old Dylan wakes up, she’s in an apartment she doesn’t recognize. The other people there seem to know her, but she doesn’t know them – not even the pretty, chiseled boy who tells her his name is Connor. A voice inside her head keeps saying that everything is okay, but Dylan can’t help but freak out. Especially when she borrows Connor’s phone to call home and realizes she’s been missing for three days.

Dylan has lost time before, but never like this.

Soon after, Dylan is diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, and must grapple not only with the many people currently crammed inside her head, but that a secret from her past so terrible she’s blocked it out has put them there. Her only distraction is a budding new relationship with Connor. But as she gets closer to finding out the truth, Dylan wonders: will it heal her or fracture her further?

First Line:

Wake up. I snuggle deeper into the blankets, trying to puysh away the voice in my head.

Pieces of Me by Kate McLaughlin

When Dylan wakes up in an unknown apartment, she is freaked out. She has no idea where she is or how she got there. She is doubly freaked out when she calls home and realizes she has been missing for three days. Things go from bad to worse when Dylan attempts suicide and is hospitalized. She is soon diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. As she begins to accept her diagnosis, she realizes there is a reason why her alters were created. With the help of Connor, the man whose apartment she woke up in, Dylan begins to unravel the secrets to why her alters were created. Will she uncover the truth, and if she does, will she be able to start to heal? Or will the truth destroy her?

Usually, I would have left the trigger warnings where they are at the beginning of the review. But, in this case, I am going to list them. Listing the triggers with how raw this book is will help you decide on reading it. The triggers are:

  1. Attempted Suicide: One of Dylan’s alters, Scratch, a protector alter, decided that the only way to help Dylan was to kill herself. Dylan woke up (for lack of a better word) right after Scratch’s attempt.
  2. Childhood Sexual Abuse: Dylan created her alters to protect herself from years of sexual abuse from someone she knew.
  3. Sexual Assualt: See above
  4. Alcohol Abuse: Dylan abused alcohol regularly in high school.
  5. Mental Illness: Dylan suffers from many mental illnesses, including anxiety and borderline personality disorder. She is diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder after her suicide attempt.

If any of these trigger you, I recommend not reading this book.

As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, this is a raw book. I was unprepared for how raw it was and how it affected me. The emotions of Dylan, her family, and her friends came off the page and affected me to the point where I needed to put the book down. I couldn’t breathe because I was so upset with everything in the book.

Pieces of Me main storyline follows Dylan, her eventual diagnosis, her numerous alters, the treatment, her remembering of what happened, and what happens when she breaks her silence. I found the entire storyline heartbreaking. I was glad that the author chose to show Dylan’s memories of her childhood sexual abuse selectively. I don’t know if I could have dealt with reading what a grown man did to a 5-year-old. Some parts of the storyline felt unreal, like Dylan initially coming to her DiD diagnosis through a questionnaire her best friend found. But that aside, this storyline did keep me glued to the book.

I wasn’t too sure about how I felt about Dylan or her alters. I felt terrible because she was dealing with severe mental health issues. She came across as very immature during the book’s first half. But, I did see her character grow with her when she officially got her DiD diagnosis. The rules she set down for her alters were funny and sad at the same time. But I liked that her internal house (where her alters lived) also changed. The author spent time introducing the main alters and explaining their roles.

There were several secondary characters in Pieces of Me. I thought Dylan’s best friend was an alter until her brother started hooking up with her best friend. Speaking of her brother, I couldn’t stand him, but I got that he was so skeptical of Dylan’s diagnosis. Still, it didn’t excuse his behavior.

I wasn’t a fan of Dylan’s romance angle with Connor. I thought it was too fast, too soon. But he was good for her and did his homework when it came to being with someone with DiD.

Pieces of Me had a happyish ending. I say happyish because Dylan’s abuser was finally being brought to justice. But it caused a massive schism in her family. But the author did leave room for healing, and Dylan understood why a specific person in her life wanted to stand by her abuser. I liked how the alters was becoming accepting of integrating with Dylan. I almost wished there was an epilogue showing Dylan 5 years down the road and where she was in her journey.

I want to add that the author did post an author’s note at the end of the book. It explained the amount of research the author did on DiD.

I recommend Pieces of Me to anyone over 18. There is language, sexual situations (nongraphic), and violence. Also, see my trigger warning list above.

Many thanks to St. Martin’s Press, Wednesday Books, NetGalley, and Kate McLaughlin for allowing me to read and review Pieces of Me. All opinions stated in this review are mine.

If you enjoyed reading this review of Pieces of Me, then you will enjoy reading these books:

Other books by Kate McLaughlin:

The Split by Sharon Bolton

Publisher: St. Martin’s Press, Minotaur Books

Date of publication: April 28th, 2020

Genre: Thriller, Mystery, Fiction, Mystery Thriller, Crime, Suspense, Psychological Thriller, Audiobook, Health, Mental Health, Mental Illness

Purchase Links: Kindle | Audible | B&N | AbeBooks | Alibris | Powells | IndieBound | Indigo | BetterWorldBooks

Goodreads Synopsis:

Tense, gripping and with a twist you won’t see coming, Sharon Bolton is back in an explosive new standalone thriller about a woman on the run in The Split.

No matter how far you run, some secrets will always catch up with you…

The remote Antarctic island of South Georgia is about to send off its last boat of the summer – which signifies safety to resident glaciologist Felicity Lloyd.

Felicity lives in fear – fear that her ex-husband Freddie will find her, even out here. She took a job on this isolated island to hide from him, but now that he’s out of prison, having served a term for murder, she knows he won’t give up until he finds her.

But a doctor delving into the background of Felicity and Freddie’s relationship, back in Cambridge, learns that Felicity has been on the edge for a long time. Heading to South Georgia himself to try and get to her first is the only way he can think of to help her.

First Line:

It’s not a ship. It’s an iceberg.

The Split by Sharon Bolton

When I got the invite to review The Split, I wasn’t sure what I would be reading. The blurb described it as a woman on the run from an abusive ex-husband. Since I like reading thrillers like that, I accepted the invitation. But as I got into the book, I began to realize that this book was nothing like the blurb. I was a little grumpy about that, but at the same time, I loved the direction this book was going.

The Split had two exciting plotlines. Felicity is a glaciologist working at her dream location – South Georgia in the Antarctic. But Felicity constantly looks over her shoulder after getting a letter from Freddie. Freddie has been released from prison and is coming to South Georgia to meet with Felicity.

The secondary plotline follows a doctor, Joe, who treats Felicity for fugue states and anxiety months before she is due to leave. Joe, recovering mentally and psychically from being attacked by an obsessive patient, notices several inconsistencies in Felicity’s mental state. Felicity needs a good mental health evaluation to accept the job in the Antarctic. Soon, Felicity is the prime suspect in a series of murders of homeless people across Cambridge. With no evidence (of the murders or the mental illness Joe suspects), Felicity is cleared to go to South Georgia. But, soon after she leaves, a huge bombshell is dropped. Joe immediately leaves to find Felicity.

Along with his police detective mother, Joe leaves for South Georgia, hoping to get to her in time. What did Joe discover? Is Felicity the murderer? Who is Freddie, and what does he want from Felicity?

The Split is a fast-paced psychological thriller set in both Cambridge, England, and South Georgia Island, Antarctic. I was thrilled to read a book that was set in the Antarctic. The author did a great job describing the island and letting the readers know how isolated it was.

The main characters in this book were well-fleshed out. I could connect with each character, which is not something I usually do.

  • Felicity—At first, I was a little ambivalent about her. But as her character grew and I got a better handle on her personality, I started to like her. When her entire backstory was revealed, I was horrified. I cried. How could someone do that to a baby? I do wish that the author had talked more about Felicity’s job. I found her being a glaciologist fascinating.
  • Joe—I will admit this, but I got creeper vibes from him at first. In my eyes, he became overly attentive to her. But, the more I read about him (and it was complicated with the jumping around), the more convinced I became that he knew something was wrong with Felicity and he wanted to help her. It became more apparent when he made the connection and then jetted to South Georgia Island.
  • Freddie—While he wasn’t in most of the book (the beginning, a couple of chapters in the middle, and the entire end), I felt he was a significant presence. He was Felicity’s boogeyman. But I didn’t get that feeling during his scenes. So, I settled down and waited. I won’t say much more, but I will say that you need to view his character with open eyes and mind.

The secondary characters added more depth to the book. From Bamber to Shane to Joe’s police detective mother, I eagerly waited for them to show up.

The Split fits perfectly into the thriller/suspense/mystery genres. I was enthralled with what I was reading. I couldn’t put this book down.

The storyline with Felicity and Freddie was heartbreaking. It took me a while to fully understand what was happening (because the book kept bouncing around from past to present). I can’t say what was going on because of the spoilers. There is a massive twist in that plotline that I didn’t see coming. It took me by surprise. After that twist, there were several other twists. While they weren’t as jaw-dropping as the main one, they were still shocking into themselves.

The storyline with Felicity, Joe, the homeless people, his mother, and the murders was interesting. I wish it had focused more on Joe and Felicity’s therapy sessions, but I did understand why the author wrote it the way she did. It was a giant red herring!! I had a feeling I knew who was murdering the homeless people, but I didn’t know why. Well, that feeling turned out to be wrong. Again, a big twist in the plotline that I didn’t see coming. Also, the twist with what Joe figured out about Felicity. I did not see it coming. But once it was revealed, it made so much sense!! I felt like kicking myself after the book was over.

There are trigger warnings in The Split, but some are spoilers. The one I can reveal is murder. The other ones will give away too much about what is going on.

The end of The Split almost made me have an anxiety attack. But, the author calmed me by wrapping each storyline up in a way that did the book justice.

I would recommend The Split for anyone over 21. There are mentions of sex and sexual behavior, language, and violence. Also, see my trigger warning paragraph for other triggers (or, in this case, lack of them because of spoilers).

If you enjoyed reading The Split, you will enjoy reading these books: